I've been putting off penning this because every time I sit down to right it I become so overwhelmed its quite insane actually. This past week of the 10-14 Sept has been quite the difficult for me.
The 10th found me back in Superior Court facing the demon once more over visitation and parenting time. All in all it was a complete waste of time. Nothing was resolved, Nick still isn't abiding by what he should and he shows up to court with his posse being Crystal's dad and her brother. Talk about intimidation factor, ridiculous and HE thought I wasn't going to have my attorney there so that makes it even worse. Anyway we are back in Oct because the child support issue wasn't even raised. So complete drain to start out the week.
The 11th. Don't really need to say much here but an incredibly emotional day and it is every year for me. I will never forget that morning. EVER. It was early, before 6 o'clock, my mom came running into my room and woke me with a start saying the World Trade Towers had been bombed. I was up immediately as a.) have always loved the WTC and had planned a trip to NY to photograph the marvels and b.) have family working in the Towers. News reports were still early and then we watched live as a plane slammed into the South Tower...I will never forget that feeling. The surrealness of the whole thing. The "oh my God this is NOT happening" feeling. We stayed glued to the TV until it was time to take my little brother to school and I had to teach that day. I remember just sitting in front of the TV for the 2 classes I taught and just watching. Everyone cried when the towers fell. Again, the unbelieveableness of it all. I kept thinking about my family and whether or not everyone was ok. I drove to my one college class that day out by the base and it was eerily silent. The normal background noise of jets flying over were gone and it was weird. The whole air of the day was off. School finished and the highlight of the day for me was that the new P.O.D. CD came out that day and I had pre-ordered it. When I went to the store to pick it up after class, it was a ghost town. The whole rest of the day everyone I knew was glued to the TV. My just graduated from High School mind was reeling. My friends were talking about signing up for the services, I contemplated that very decision for MONTHS. Never a day goes by that I don't think about that day in some form of another. Thinking of the children on those planes, the people in the towers, the plane in PA. The heroism of that day made me proud to be an American. The way this Nation came together after such a horrific event and under the guide of a phenomenal President. There still is not closure. I remember hearing the news the night Bin Laden was caught. I was shopping with Connor at Target. I cried but it was not closure. Someone else would rise to take his place, there would be continued hatred around this world. Him dying did nothing like I thought it would.
The rest of the week was pretty uneventful. I got killed at work, have been suffering from a migraine for a week now without relief. Friday the 14th happened and it was a reminder that 5 years ago on a Friday evening very much like this last one that I made the biggest mistake of my life. Marrying someone you DO NOT love is not advisable. It's left me angry, bitter and just mad for the past 5 years plus. So many lies were fed to me in that 11 year relationship. Lies I'm still trying to overcome now. So all in all...pretty shit actually and I'm ready to put it behind me and move on to October because its that much closer to the end of the year...
